Is My Child Developing Normally? Age-by-Age Guide

Worrying about whether your child is developing normally is one of the most common concerns parents bring to my clinic. The short answer: milestones are ranges, not deadlines. Here is a practical guide for parents at every age from 6 months to 3 years.

If it is language you are watching, see my guide to how to help your child talk.

Milestones Are a Window. Not a Finish Line.

When a milestone chart says “walks by 18 months”, it means about 3 in 4 children are walking on their own by then (CDC). Many walk much earlier. In a large WHO study, healthy children started walking on their own anywhere from about 8 months to just under 18 months. If your child is not walking on their own by 18 months, that is a reason to get a check. The chart is telling you where most children land. It is not telling you where your child must be on a specific date.

This matters because milestone lists pulled from the internet vary wildly. Some are outdated. Some mix up the 50th percentile with the outer boundary of normal. And almost none account for the full picture a paediatrician is trained to see.

Two things are true at once. Missing one milestone in one area is usually not cause for alarm. Missing multiple milestones across multiple areas at the same time is worth looking at properly.

What to Look for at Each Age

These are the key areas to watch, based on CDC and AAP milestones (2022) and ASHA speech guidance. A milestone is the age most children (about 3 in 4) reach it by.

6 months

• Rolls from tummy to back

• Leans on their hands to hold themselves up when sitting

• Takes turns making sounds with you, blows “raspberries” and squeals

• Reaches to grab a toy they want, and puts things in their mouth to explore them

• Knows familiar people, and laughs

12 months

• Pulls up to stand and walks holding on to furniture; some children walk on their own

• Calls a parent “mama” or “dada” or another special name

• Waves bye-bye

• Understands “no” (pauses or stops when you say it)

• Plays games with you, like pat-a-cake

• Looks for a toy they saw you hide under a blanket

18 months

• Walks without holding on to anyone or anything

• Tries to say three or more words besides “mama” or “dada”

• Follows a one-step instruction without you pointing or gesturing, like “Give it to me”

• Points to show you something interesting, and points to ask for things

• Copies you doing chores, like sweeping, and plays with toys in a simple way, like pushing a toy car

2 years

• Says at least two words together (“more milk”, “daddy go”). Fewer than 50 words at 2 is worth a check (ASHA).

• Runs and kicks a ball

• Points to things in a book when you ask, like “Where is the bear?”, and to at least two body parts

• Notices when others are hurt or upset

• Looks at your face to see how to react in a new situation

3 years

• Talks with you in a conversation, going back and forth at least twice

• Asks “who”, “what”, “where” or “why” questions

• Talks well enough for others to understand, most of the time

• Uses things to pretend, like feeding a block to a doll

• Notices other children and joins them to play

• Calms down within 10 minutes after you leave, like at a childcare drop-off

The Difference Between a Concern and a Red Flag

A concern is something that catches your attention. Concerns are worth mentioning at the next routine check. They rarely require urgent action.

A red flag is different. These signs warrant prompt assessment:

• No babbling by 12 months

• No words at all by 16 months

• Fewer than 50 words, or no two-word phrases, by 24 months (ASHA)

• Loss of any language or social skills at any age, always needs immediate follow-up

• No pointing, waving or other gestures by 12 months

• No response to their own name by 9 months

If it is your child’s talking that worries you most, you can book a speech and developmental assessment in Kuala Lumpur to find out whether it needs watching or support.

These are not meant to frighten you. Early intervention makes a real difference in developmental outcomes.

When “Wait and See” Is and Is Not Okay

“Wait and see” is reasonable when a child is slightly behind in one area, everything else looks typical, and there are no red flags. Your paediatrician is tracking the trajectory, not just the snapshot.

“Wait and see” is not okay when red flags are present. It is also not okay when a parent has a persistent gut feeling something is off. There is no such thing as flagging something too early. There is only flagging it too late.

How to Bring Up Development Concerns with Your Paediatrician

Be specific, not general. Instead of “I think she’s behind,” try “She’s 18 months and only says two words clearly.”

Bring a video. A 30-second video of the behaviour you are worried about is more useful than a description.

Ask directly. “Is this something we should investigate further, or monitor?” A good paediatrician will give you a clear answer.

Trust your instinct enough to say it out loud. “Something feels off and I can’t quite explain it” is a valid clinical history.

Frequently Asked Questions

Are developmental milestones the same for boys and girls?

For most milestones, the ranges overlap so significantly that sex is not a reliable predictor. What matters far more is your child’s overall trajectory.

My child skipped crawling. Is that a problem?

Skipping crawling is common and does not, on its own, signal a problem. If a child skips crawling and also has concerns in other developmental areas, bring it up at the next check.

What is the difference between a milestone delay and a developmental disorder?

A milestone delay means a specific skill is taking longer to appear. A developmental disorder involves a broader pattern across multiple areas. A delay in one area does not mean a disorder. The only way to tell the difference is through a proper developmental assessment.

Book a Developmental Consultation

If you have a specific concern you want to discuss in person, book a developmental consultation at ParkCity Medical Centre: drnisakhalil.com/appointment

You can also read exactly what a child development assessment in Kuala Lumpur covers, step by step.

Not sure who to see? Here is how to choose a paediatrician in Kuala Lumpur, including what to check before you book.

Wondering about the next big step? Here is how to tell if your child is ready to start school in Malaysia, and what actually matters as they approach Year 1.

This article is written for general informational purposes and does not replace a clinical assessment. Please consult a qualified paediatrician if you have concerns about your child’s development.

References

1. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Learn the Signs. Act Early. developmental milestones (updated 2022). https://www.cdc.gov/act-early/milestones/index.html

2. Zubler JM, et al. Evidence-Informed Milestones for Developmental Surveillance Tools. Pediatrics. 2022;149(3):e2021052138.

3. American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (ASHA). Late Language Emergence, Practice Portal. https://www.asha.org/practice-portal/clinical-topics/late-language-emergence/